Because holding on to pain only weighs you down — and God has something better for your heart.
Let’s be honest.
Forgiveness is hard enough when someone apologizes.
But forgiving someone who isn’t sorry?
Someone who hurt you, walked away, and never looked back?
That feels impossible.
I’ve been there too.
Staring at a wound that never got acknowledged.
Waiting for closure that never came.
And one day, I realized something that changed everything:
Forgiveness isn’t about them. It’s about freedom.
When the Apology Never Comes
We want to make things right.
We want explanations, apologies, maybe even a little justice.
But sometimes… the person who hurt us will never admit what they did.
They may never see it.
They may never care.
And that’s where bitterness sneaks in.
It whispers:
“They don’t deserve forgiveness.”
“You’re letting them off the hook.”
“If you forgive, it means what they did was okay.”
But that’s not what forgiveness means at all.
What Forgiveness Is (and What It’s Not)
Let’s clear something up:
Forgiveness is NOT saying what they did was okay.
It’s NOT pretending it didn’t hurt.
It’s NOT letting someone continue to mistreat you.
And it’s NOT forgetting what happened.
Forgiveness is saying: “I release this hurt to God, because I wasn’t meant to carry it forever.”
It’s taking your pain out of their hands and placing it into God’s.
Not because they deserve it.
But because your heart deserves peace.
Jesus Knows What It’s Like
Jesus understands this kind of pain.
He was betrayed, abandoned, falsely accused, beaten — and He still said:
“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34)
He forgave while they were still hurting Him.
He didn’t wait for apologies.
He forgave because that’s who He is — and when we follow Him, we walk the same path.
So… How Do You Forgive Someone Who Isn’t Sorry?
It starts with honesty.
Not pretending you’re over it. Not putting on a brave face.
But going to God and saying:
“Lord, this still hurts. And I don’t know how to let it go. But I want to.”
Here’s what’s helped me (and maybe it’ll help you too):
1. Tell God the Truth
Don’t sugarcoat it. Don’t hold back.
God already knows — and He’s not scared of your anger or sorrow.
2. Pray for a Willing Heart
You don’t need to feel forgiving to start forgiving.
Ask God to make you willing, even if it’s just a little.
3. Release, Re-release, Repeat
Forgiveness isn’t one-and-done.
You might need to release the same hurt to God every day for a while. That’s okay. He’s patient.
4. Let God Handle Justice
You don’t have to carry the burden of making things right.
“It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. (Romans 12:19)
God sees. God knows. God will deal with it in His time and His way.
5. Speak Life Over Yourself
Bitterness poisons your peace.
Forgiveness opens the door to healing — not for them, but for you.
Tell your heart: “I’m moving forward. I’m choosing peace.”
Final Thoughts: It’s Not Easy, But It’s Worth It
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you forget what happened.
It means you’re done letting it define you.
You don’t need an apology to heal.
You don’t need them to make it right to take back your peace.
God can do what they never will — He can restore your heart fully.
So if you’re still holding on to a hurt today…
Know this:
You don’t have to wait for them to say “I’m sorry.”
God’s already inviting you to say, “I forgive.”
And in that space, healing begins.
🌿 Keep Going, One Step at a Time
If this touched something in your heart today, I’ve written more gentle, grace-filled articles to help you walk with God through the hard things.
👉 Click here to read more faith-based encouragement »
You’re not alone.
And you don’t have to carry this forever. 💛
